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  • Wandering Soup

Yelping...For Black Women

We need a black woman-friendly rating for restaurants. I’m not saying we’re special, I’m just saying. And we do some things different. Yelp is awesome, but we have specific needs. The following reasons are why restaurants need a rating for how black-woman friendly they are:

1. Roomy chairs: Because hips. Those chairs that are meant for elementary-schoolers are not meant for seating grown people.

2. Purse space: It goes without saying that we learned from our mama’s mama not to put our bags on the floor. We are not going to change our ways for Holeman and Finch (lovely brunch, by the way). Either have space for an extra chair for my bag or make it possible for me to put my bag on the back of the chair and there still be room to walk around it. Or they could have some of these.

3. Straws: Bring drinks to the table (water included) with straws either in the glass already or still wrapped (preferable). We are not drinking out of the glass. We’re recovering from PTSD as it is, no one has time to be drinking directly out of a restaurant glass. And please do not put MY straw into MY glass with your fingers. Bare fingers. I'm still in shock. Looking at you Ration & Dram.

4. Plenty of napkins: One cloth napkin is not going to cut it. I need paper napkins so that I can wipe the table when I sit down if need be or if my cutlery needs extra cleaning. Don’t ask me to live with one napkin, and I won’t keep asking you to bring things every time we think of something else.

5. No seating next to bathroom: Because why. Why would I want to sit where people are coming in and out constantly when I am trying to eat? Please tell me, ma’am.

6. And when I ask for dressing on the side (because I’m trying to be healthy), don’t look at me funny when you come back and I also ask for EXTRA dressing. This is my world; don’t be a nut.

Finally, it would be great if my gathering of black woman wizardry does not incite fear in the hearts of those around us that then results in a call to the police. That part.

Happy (and safe) Dining, Yall!


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